Wizard Rock

I recently attended my first mini Wizard-Rock festival. Wizard Rock is a new genre of rock where all of the acts are supposed to dress like Harry Potter characters and sing songs about the franchise. I went to see all the freaks in costume. Unfortunately, only a few band members dressed up, along with maybe one or two of the general public. One guy dressed up as Voldemort and danced onstage incessantly. In reality, he was just an annoyance in white face. It remained a mystery whether the bands brought him with them as part of the show or if he was just a nutty local. Personally, I suspect that he was an undergrad who felt thrilled at the idea of sleeping with a Hermione impersonator. Overall, I was a little less than impressed. Here was the lineup:

Ginny & the Heartbreakers
Ministry of Magic
Parselmouths
The Moaning Myrtles
The Mudbloods
The Remus Lupins

To be fair, I missed the Mudbloods and the Remus Lupins. Here are my thoughts on the others:

Ginny & the Heartbreakers were totally diappointing. I listened to their MySpace and thought they were okay. They performed "Harry Potter Gets Naked" at K-State and I assumed that since they supported reading, they were against censorship. The song is actually about Daniel Radcliffee getting naked on stage in London. Their message, though, is that he should "get his pants back on," and that doens't sit too well with me. I had hoped that as warriors for literacy they would be a bit more open-minded. Also, with the name Ginny and the Heartbreakers, I had expected at minimum a red-headed lead singer. The band consisted of two brunettes and a redhead.

The Ministry of Magic took the stage like they owned the place. They didn't. At first, I thought they sounded like early Beastie Boys (pre- Paul's Botique), but I was wrong. As their set progressed, it became clear that they were very repetitive. This trio in sweater vests bounced around stage, jumping over each others backs and simulating a microscopic mosh pit. They were three guys rapping over sampled beats; unfortumately, they had trouble rapping more than their own name. "We're the ministry of magic, yo" seemed to be about all they could muster.

The Parselmouth, two slytherin girls, had the most promising samples on their myspace page, which is why I bought their CD. In concert, they weren't as impressive. I know one of them plays piano, but in concert one barely played guitar. I would have liked a little more musical variety, though they were better than the ministry. As far as theatrics go, I had expected more green. They were both rather tall and as I remember wore mostly grey, but the shorter one had on hot pink, high-heeled Chuck Taylor's (which we used to call All-Stars), and that was by far the most memorable feature visually. During "What Kind of Name is Hermoine?," the girls brought out a third girl to play the part of Hermoine. She should have switched out with one of the brunettes in Ginny and the Weasleys because, unlike Hermoine, she was a redhead.

The Moaning Myrtles featured some of the simplest yet most effective costuming. The pianist had on navy blue knee-high stockings along with a gray skirt, which seemed both in keeping with the theme and also as though it was a conscious effort to be attractive. This would seem to me t be what you'd want to do if you were to mix Harry Potter and rock; keep rock's sex element while bringing in the wizardry. Their songs were all about one subject -- namely being a bathroom ghost -- but they brought some wicked piano riffs reminiscent of Nellie McKay and Fiona Apple. If they ever broaden their horizons, they have some real potential.

Like I said, I missed the last two acts. The others were ok, but I can only hope they improved. If my ticket sales hadn't have gone to help kids read I'd have been miffed. I had heard the music would be really good, just with limited lyrical content. I found limits in both. Still, I hope wizard rock expands and continues as a genre of its own in the years to come.


All that being said, I did buy a Parselmouths CD, appropriately titled Sssssss. Standout songtitles include "Let's Get Hagrid Fired," "What Kind of Name Is Hermione?" and "Kicking House Elves." Musically, they aren't half bad. Their songs usually are based on a few simple chords which make up a very basic riff, which they occaisionally supplement with drum machines.

The album opens with a spoken track called "Hey Guys," which consists of the girls thanking you for buying their cd. They break up laughing about halfway through, but its so geeky its almost cute.

"Eating Slugs" is perhaps the most melodic Parselmouths' offering while "Being in Slytherin Is Not Half Bad" is their funniest. The latter chronicles how the girls are slackers yet still make good grades in potions because Prof. Snape is too busy busting Potter's ass to care about them. "Daddy's Tattoo," about the mark of the Death Eaters, is both humorous and Potteresque.

Other humorous titles include "Life's Unfair," about a crush on an older professor. Another is "Two Classes," whose melody sounds lifted off a dozen 90s female singer-songwriters. Ultimately, the song is an open letter to their academic advisor about how they shouldn't be required to take "Muggle Studies" nor "Defense Against the Dark Arts."

The album isn't all great though. "Parselmouths Say Hello" is way too techno-y while "When You're A Parselmouth" walks the same line. When it comes to getting to teched out, I can only hope Hufflepuff and Gryffindor have some more musical authenticity.